In a recent post, I talked about the need to get more focused in your efforts; to become a motivated people magnet. I thought that idea deserved more attention – and some actionable advice for agents looking to ‘up their game’ right now. Here is the result…

In this market, your job isn’t to “sell” — it’s to sift.

If you’re still trying to convince people it’s a great time to buy or sell, I have some bad news: you’re wasting your energy.

Your real job is to find the people who have to move — the ones whose lives are moving them — and spend your time there.

That’s the skill that will separate the agents who survive this market from the ones who don’t.

Stop Trying to Convince — Start Listening for Life

You can’t sell motivation to someone who doesn’t have it. No clever marketing piece or charming phone call is going to make someone have a baby, get divorced, get transferred, or retire. Those things happen when they happen — with or without you.

Your role is to spot these life shifts early and be the trusted advisor when the time comes.

When you really get this, everything in your business changes.

• You stop chasing every curious person who clicked on a listing.

• You stop trying to “sell” people who aren’t ready.

• You start spending time where the real opportunities are.
  

Sounds good, right? Let’s talk about how to do it.

Step 1: Reconnect With Your Database — the Right Way

Your database is a goldmine, but only if you treat it properly. It’s not enough to send another “market update” email and hope someone bites. You need conversations — real ones — and you need to ask the right questions.

Here’s a better approach:

1. Warm up the call
   Start easy. Nobody wants to feel like they’re being pounced on.

• “Hey, it’s been a while — how’s life treating you?”

• “I was thinking about you the other day and figured I’d check in.”

Simple, human, real.

2. Ask Life-Centered Questions
   Shift away from “Are you thinking of buying or selling?” to:

• “Any big changes happening in your family these days?”

• “Are you still loving the house/neighborhood you’re in?”

• “Have you thought about downsizing now that the kids are getting older?”

• “Is work keeping you local, or is there a chance you might be transferred?”

Listen for:

• Expansion: New babies, blended families, working from home.

• Contraction: Empty nesters, divorces, retirements.

• Relocation: Job transfers, new opportunities, moving closer to family.

You’re not digging for leads — you’re listening for life.

3. Don’t Make It About You
   You’re not there to get something. You’re there to understand what’s happening in their life. When you do this well, you become the obvious choice when a move becomes necessary.

Important:
Even if there’s no opportunity right now, you’ve deepened the relationship — and those referrals will come.

Step 2: Sort Fast and Sort Honestly

Once you start reconnecting, you’re going to hear three types of people:

1. Ready Now:
   

• “We’re having another baby, and this house is too small.”

• “I’m getting divorced, and I need a new place.”
  

Action to take: Move these people to the top of your list and book meetings.

1. Not Yet, But Something’s Brewing:
   

• “We’re thinking about retiring in a year or two.”

• “If work keeps pushing me into the office, we might move closer.”
  

Action to take: Set a reminder to check back in a few months. Stay lightly engaged.

1. Window Shoppers and Tire Kickers:
   

• “We’re just curious what the market’s doing.”

• “We’re staying put unless something amazing pops up.”
  

Action to take: Love them, but don’t chase them. Put them on a market watch drip and move on. You don’t have time to drag anchors around.

Pro Tip: Spend 80% of your time with the first group. The rest get good service, but not your prime hours.

Step 3: Partner With the Right Allies

You can only have so many direct conversations yourself. That’s why smart agents build networks with the people who see life changes first.

Start making friends with:

• Divorce lawyers

• Estate lawyers

• Financial planners

• Mortgage brokers

• Insurance agents

• HR departments at large companies

• Senior living advisors
  

What’s the strategy?

• Let them know you’re a resource.

• Educate them about what you do — not just “sell houses,” but help people navigate big life changes.

• Stay in touch. Add value where you can. (Share articles, offer insights, send coffee — whatever fits.)
  

Warning: This isn’t an overnight thing. It’s a long game — but once the trust is there, these referrals are golden.

Step 4: Go Deeper, Not Wider

A lot of agents panic in markets like this and think, “I need MORE leads!”

No.

You need better relationships.

In hot markets, wide and shallow works: send 10,000 postcards, get a few calls. In tougher markets, that math doesn’t work.

You need:

• Deeper conversations

• Better follow-up

• Real relationships
  

If you have 50 people in your world who genuinely trust you, you’ll outsell the agent who has 5000 lukewarm “leads” that don’t know their name.

Tactical ideas:

• Host small client events (coffee mornings, happy hours).

• Start a private Facebook group for your past clients and VIPs.

• Send actual hand-written cards when you hear about life changes (good or bad).

• Make one real, personal touchpoint per day — call, text, drop-by.
  

The agents who win now? They aren’t shouting louder. They’re getting closer.

Step 5: Adjust Your Mindset — It’s About Timing, Not Pressure

Not everyone you talk to will move tomorrow. That’s OK. Your role isn’t to push people over the line. Your role is to be standing there — helpful, professional, and ready — when life moves them across it.

Think farmer, not hunter.

• Plant seeds.

• Tend the soil.

• Be there when the harvest is ready.
  

Real estate is a timing game disguised as a sales job. Understand that, and you’ll lower your stress and increase your success.

Final Thought: Be a Magnet, Not a Megaphone

In every market, there are people who need to move. Your job is to find them, serve them, and stay connected to everyone else without burning yourself out.

Stop trying to “sell” people on moving. Start being the person they trust when moving becomes inevitable.

Reconnect.
Sort fast.
Go deeper.
Stay human.

That’s how you thrive in this market — and Every. Market. After. It.

If you’re ready to stop chasing the maybes and start working with the must-moves, now’s the time to take action. Reconnect with your people, ask better questions, and build the kind of business that thrives in any market. Need help figuring out where to start? Reach out — I’m always happy to talk strategy.